In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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