ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
