Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
