It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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