i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
