Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
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