He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
