i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
