since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
