Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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