Yo dont text me then not text me
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
