You're my little dorito
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
