GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
we made out on top of his cat.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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