Umm I'm too high to move.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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