I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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