I wanna bring you to show and tell
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Houston, we have a blender
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at templeĀ
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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