i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
