at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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