The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
