Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
