btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
he wants to bone in the snuggie
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Verdict: uncircumcised.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
