I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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