the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
God I need to hump something, right now.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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