i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
