The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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