It's like God shit irony all over that family
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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