i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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