He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
