i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
