I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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