***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
You need Xanax blowdarts
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
