Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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