how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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