Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Randomize
