You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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