Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
