so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
The struggles of a small town man whore
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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