i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
