bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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