lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
