i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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