If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
