3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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