If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
