I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Randomize
