So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Why can't burritos get me drunk
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
