Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
