i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Hippo gnu deer
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
