and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Randomize
