Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Alive.
So much puke
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Randomize
