I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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