Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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