She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
