I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
